Motherhood : Announcing Our Pregnancy

If you haven't already seen on Instagram and Facebook, we are pregnant! I am currently at 11 weeks, in the second photo, and the first photo was taken at 10 weeks while we were in New Orleans for our 1 year anniversary.

Some very close friends and family have known the entire time we have known as Matt was overly excited to tell people. Matt told his brother and his co workers shortly after finding out. I chose not to tell anyone but a close friend found out the day after I took the test because a drunk girl asked, "What, are you pregnant?" in regards to why I had no drink in hand at a party. People can be so rude.

I told my parents over the phone one day because I was missing them and not feeling well at all and it just kind of came up. We told Matt's parents on Mother's Day using a card that said a little something about just rinsing the dishes off after a long day. I added in, "Especially after babysitting your first grand child! Surprise we're pregnant!"

I was very hesitant to tell people as I miscarried at 7 weeks with our first pregnancy. I decided to just let the cat out of the bag when we got back from New Orleans because I was already starting to show and I was tired of sucking it all in. While 11 weeks is just shy of the normal 12 weeks when most people announce their pregnancies, this pregnancy has been extremely different than my first so I felt comfortable announcing it a little early. With my first pregnancy I was never tired or sick just hungry more than usual. This time I get sick randomly at all hours, I'm exhausted and ready for a nap at any time, I'm starving all. of. the. time. It's absolutely ridiculous! I wake up starving, I'm starving at 10, 12, 2, lets just say every two hours I'm ready to eat again and then I go to bed starving. I think I even spend more time in the bathroom than actually working too. As I'm writing this I have to go to the bathroom.

I'm really not enjoying pregnancy in and of itself but it is pretty incredible to know I am actually growing a human being inside this little body of mine. I cannot wait to hold this little one come December. That is if the baby is actually due in December. I've been told I look further along than 11 weeks and I have yet to see a doctor as they can't see me until the middle of June to confirm the due date. I'm not too worried about it though because at that point I will only be 13 weeks along and many doctors do not see their patients until 12 weeks. I am also glad I am able to use the same doctor from my first pregnancy even though the only time I met her was after the miscarriage she was very friendly and supportive.

We are both so excited for this new journey of ours and I can't wait to share our story on A Hamilton Home.

Grieving and Loss

On September 15th I found out the best news. I was going to be a mother and Matt was going to make the best father. I was wary to spread the news but I did need and want to tell my own mother. I waited until September 20th, her birthday. I called her with the news that she was going to have another grandchild and elated she was. We waited until the twenty eighth to tell Matt's parents and grandfather over dinner. Again, our family members couldn't be more happy. The next day we had our first doctors visit. We were handed informative flyer after informative flyer and all the while we had huge smiles across our faces. We left after scheduling our first prenatal visit for October 9th.

We spent this time dreaming up baby names and making lists of things we needed to do. I even went thrifting for some gender neutral baby clothes. We even had two weeks of barely there baby bump photos stored on my phone. I told my siblings and Matt told his. We were so excited and everyone was so happy for us. We were going to save the news to share with everyone else until after the first trimester was over. We had all of these plans!

And then on Saturday, October 4th I was woken from a nightmare in which I was having a miscarriage. I wasn't feeling very well and went to the bathroom to find that I was bleeding, very badly. I called my doctor who urged us to go to the emergency room for fear that I was not only having a miscarriage but that I may have an ectopic pregnancy. After nearly four hours in the ER we were sent home with more questions than answers and were told that there was no embryo in my uterus but a cyst like mass on my right ovary, a very rare form of an ectopic pregnancy. We were told to contact my doctor on Monday morning to have it removed through a drug injection that would abort the baby and if need be I would undergo surgery.

I cried for hours, made a few different phone calls, and stayed curled up in a ball all day in emotional and physical pain. I was angry and am still angry as it doesn't matter how healthy or unhealthy you treat your body during pregnancy, something can always go wrong. I am angry that I did everything I was supposed to after finding out I was pregnant and there are women out there who smoke, drink, and do all sorts of things while pregnant and are still able to have a child with out issue. I think I will always be angry about this but I will move on.

Not long after the miscarriage I had to resign from my teaching position for personal reasons. I was distraught over the situation and nervous I wouldn't be able to find another job. I have started working as an engraver at a local trophy shop and am actually enjoying this new adventure. I do not have the stress and frustration of dealing with teenagers day in and day out and I'm creating a product with my hands which is something I need to do. I think I will even start drawing more as I don't have to create example projects for students anymore. I am going to take my lemons and make lemonade in these next few months.